#yes i deleted anakin

[tarabyte3]

I edited shots of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to smoosh them closer together 😌 + 2 bonus edits

I'm particularly proud of how I edited liam's hand into the 3rd one because it was originally the shot of him holding Obi's lightsaber

[sunflower-chai]

Mannnn do you ever think abt how the most stable thing in Anakin's life was his connection to the Force

well NOW i am. let's summarize shall we?

shmi: anakin leaves her at age 9 and reunites with her at age 19 only for her to die in his arms

qui-gon: frees anakin from slavery, promises to train him as a jedi, gets killed by maul.

padmé: meets anakin in tpm, then they don't see each other for ten years. they fall in love, have a secret wedding, and a war begins. their marriage is one of brief stolen moments between battles and senate meetings. the idea of losing padmé in childbirth is so horrible that anakin falls to the dark side in order to save her, causing her to die of a broken heart.

obi-wan: promises to fulfill his master's dying wish to train the Chosen One. in the end he is forced to confront anakin after his fall, chopping off all his limbs and leaving him to die on a planet of lava.

palpatine: hey how does it make you feel to know that anakin's longest lasting relationship is with the guy who groomed and manipulated him since childhood?? personally i want to set myself on fire.

ahsoka: assigned as anakin's padawan against his will, yet they develop a strong bond. ahsoka is framed for murder and the bombing of the jedi temple. she is expelled from the order, then welcomed back after she clears her name. she instead chooses to leave, having lost faith in the jedi. they're briefly reunited before anakin's rushing off to rescue palpatine and ahsoka goes to liberate mandalore from maul. and then order 66 happens.

luke: vader finds out his son is alive after 22 years, asking him to join the dark side to kill the emperor and rule the galaxy as father and son. luke refuses time and time again, forcing vader's hand to violence. luke eventually becomes overwhelmed with anger, bearing down hard against vader and heavily disabling his life support suit. it is only when the emperor is torturing luke that anakin finally returns to the light, killing the emperor and saving his son. in the process he brings about his own death, but he is finally happy. he is free.

leia: vader has no clue she exists until his duel with luke in rotj. wants to turn her to the dark side in luke's place, but his dying wish is for luke to tell leia that there was still good in him.

and throughout ALL of that, all of those shaky connections, the one constant is the Force (whether that be the light or dark side). it is the one thing that has been present for his entire life. he was conceived by the Force, in death he becomes one with the Force, even manifesting as a Force ghost. there's a metaphor here about Christianity and God's constant presence. and this is why star wars is so special to me <3

[vaderfag]

"I burn you?"

"You melt me."

[the-lemon-that-urged-the-lime]

anakin after having 19 aggressive stimulants that are banned to the public, meth, LSD, toxic waste, water from a river that porgs probably pissed in and more meth running through his bloodstream for 23 years, suddenly without any of this: archibald darling I am seeing ghosts

i feel like all the fics that have vader survive/get redeemed earlier and leave the empire should focus more on the insane withdrawal this man is going through. he had toxic waste mixed with meth mixed with LSD running through his veins at all times he is not acting normal

[skywalkr-nberrie]

No way I just saw an Anakin hater/Ewan/OW fan girl say that she’d “never forgive Padmé for choosing Anakin when OW was right there.” and even said how much it hurts that OW said he wishes he was “Leia’s” father so that means he was “in love with her” the whole time while he had to watch her be with Anakin.

Count on these antis to ignore batches of context to benefit their delusions.

1. Padmé didn’t care for OW, she didn’t choose him because she didn’t WANT him. She got the one she loved and desired. She won. Period.

(Side note: why do these weirdos pretend that Anakin/Hayden isn’t canonically and visibly super attractive? Or that OW/Ewan was unarguably more hotter than Anakin/Hayden?? Did you forget that “in universe” Anakin is canonically considered the “ladies man” and that’s actually acknowledged by OW twice? Once in the novel “Labyrinth of Evil” and again in Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this… fact is that A LOT of girls would prefer Anakin over OW and Padmé is one of those girls, as we see 😬

I know why I chose Anakin over OW when I was only 8, and so does my niece who’s 10. And I know there’s many more that’s just like us, lol. If they’d stop projecting for a minute, they’d realize how it actually makes perfect sense why Padmé chose Anakin and not OW whom she never considered as an option for her, and never would be, regardless.)

Yes and I know it’s hard for misogynists to grasp this, because how dare a woman choose her own life partner. But I was never one (a misogynist) to begin with, so I can’t agree 🤷🏾‍♀️ and don’t even try with the “if Star Wars was written by a female” argument that’s tossed around. Because it’s not like most of the people who ship Anidala aren’t female??

And please be real for once, what’s more female gaze? The young and beautiful heroine ending up with someone she met as a kid while he an adult, who’s much older too, or her ending up with the younger (closer to her age) Prince Charming she didn’t even know she was dreaming of? If the self projection wasn’t so insane from thirsting over Ewan, they wouldn’t actually spout this crap.

2. OW didn’t say he “wishes” he was Leia’s father, lmao. He tells her he wishes that he could SAY he was. The two hold tremendously different meanings from each other, especially when you’re not ignoring “context.” The false one implies that OW wishes he was actually the real father instead (like the antis assume) and the correct one implies that he wished he could tell Leia in that specific moment that he was. And why does OW say this?

Well, I’ll let Ewan explain:

As stated in the video, OW only said that because he wishes he could bring Leia closure for not being able to know her real dad, and in that moment she was hoping OW was him. No where is it ever implied this was because he’s always had “secret harboured feelings” for Padmé (whom was his surrogate son/brother’s wife.) In Ewan’s words: there isn’t “any more to it than that.” Even went as far as to subtly mention how if there was any validity to this “OW and Padmé” theory, George would’ve put that in the script, or would’ve told that story. Which we’re all well aware he didn’t do of any sort. (And I should mention that Anakin’s seeds of doubt and mistrust in the deleted ROTS concepts, doesn’t count. Those were all planted by Palpatine to bring him closer to the dark side. It was never real.) So? Case closed.

Now stop blaming Padmé for falling in love with Anakin and choosing him over the guy she canonically doesn’t have any interest in and didn’t have any interest in her.

P.S: OW canonically only loves Satine. Anyways, Anidala is the superior ship. Hence why they’re canon. Pack it up, and go home, folks!

[tatooineknights]

Thoughts on Padmé? She's underrated, in my opinion.

A literal queen. One of the first books I remember having was actually this coloring book of all of Padme's beautiful gowns (maybe I was already a little gay as a kid, we'll never know for sure):

But yes, we love a confident queen with convictions that is not afraid to do what is right. I love ALL of her deleted scenes in AOTC and ROTS - AOTC just so many cute humanizing moments with her in her interactions with her family and Anakin, and ROTS, well, her whole arc is amazing so you can imagine my frustration that it was all cut out of the film. She literally helped found the rebellion.

[eye-may]

NEW MISTOFFELEES HEADCANONS ?? :000

I love your cat universe, It's so entertaining

yes. :' ) I've been going back and forth for weeks weighing different scenarios for the cats' parentages, along with explanations for why Mistoffelees has magic and I THOUGHT I settled on something. but then I listened to Ed Kingsley Wade's (Tugger UK tour 2022) episode of wcd and it got me rethinking a lot of things. partly it validated an earlier idea I had about Mistoffelees not exactly having """PARENTS""" per se. and also I've just been hearing so much about the de facto canonical interpretation of Munkustrap and Tugger being the biological sons of Deutoronomy, that I started entertaining that notion too because it began to feel blasphemous to believe otherwise. 😂 and yes that doesn't technically preclude the possibility of Mistoffelees also being Deutoronomy's son but I can't have Tugger and Mistoffelees being brothers for obvious reasons lmao. and I couldn't go the Son Of Macavity route for...the exact same reason.

So you see, these are the mental gymnastics that have been plaguing my grey matter lately. I'll include a slightly more comprehensive explanation of my latest hcs in answer to the question Why Does Mistoffelees Have Magic? under the cut lol

basically. all cats used to be magical --- further validating the propensity for older civilizations to idolize them.

Edit: I had a whole paragraph here that got deleted somehow but all you need to know is, along comes a particularly powerful magical cat who does the Isildur/Anakin thing and attempts to basically usurp the Cat Diety of Magic, who lives in the moon, that I call Moon Cat until I can think of a better name. He amasses a cultlike following.

the Isildur Cat's attempt to wrest godlike magical power (with a following that he has amassed over time...convincing a bunch of people that his ascension was prophetic...yk cult shit) essentially results in a war and the totality of magic was becoming volatile and corrupted. There's a big battle something something and at the end of the day, Moon Cat sees no other option to save the sacrality of Uncorrupted Cat Magic by gatekeeping what is left of it, so she siphons her own essence into three stones (I call them Moon Stones but I intend to come up with a cooler name) and assigns three different trusted Keepers (Old Deuteronomy is one of them...so yeah he's from Ancient Times) to protect the Stones, and then sends them off to vastly different parts of the world. possession of a Stone bestows immortality to the Keeper so that they can guard it ad infinitum. In the meantime, as a result of this development, a magical cat will never again be born and magic will never exist among cats as it had before.

fast forward centuries, along comes Macavity, one of the many sons of Deuteronomy. he shows sensitivity towards, and a propensity for, magic --- not in its most literal sense a la Mistoffelees, but more in a sense that he's keen to its potency and gravitates towards spiritual avenues in a way not dissimilar to Coricopat and Tantomile. he'd have mystical talents, like prescience/precognition, minor manipulations of extant fire, attuneness to weather, etc. but he couldn't conjur, or summon, or materialize matter or anything like that. Deuteronomy was aware of his son's Uniqueness and chalked it up to inheritance---a little bit of Deuteronomy's magicalness getting passed down. young Macavity, though, wasn't keen to take his heightened senses lightly, and became more frustrated and quixotic the more he attempted to make sense of it. seeing how the pressure was building in Macavity, Deuteronomy sat him down and explained to him the legend about the Moon Cat and the Isildur Cat and the Stones and all that, in an attempt to elucidate on why cats can't be truly magical anymore. he was hoping this knowledge would put Macavity at ease but instead it horribly backfired :D

okay so long story short! Macavity attempts to wrest Deuteronomy's Moon Stone, fails, and then flees to quest for one of the other three Keepers. it's a whole thing but all you have to know is he does find one, and basically...extorts the Stone from him. (it had to do with exploiting the Keeper's romantic feelings for a mortal yadda yadda yadda. master of manipulation, the napoleon of crime! Macavity knows how to get what he wants!)

EDIT: Forgot to mention. this is from where Macavity gets HIS power...but since he's not a truly Magical Cat and because he's Evil and Shouldn't Have The Stone, he's basically destroying himself by using it to wield magic. and he's also corrupting the Stone itself. but obviously he doesn't care or even fully understand what he's doing to himself.

Deuteronomy, beyond deeply troubled by all this shit, sacrifices a sizeable chunk of his magic to send a prayer up to Everlasting via priority mail. basically he's like STOP I fucked up STOP Send Help STOP

his prayer reaches, and Moon Cat and the other Cat Deities senses a Disturbance In The Force. they're like shit. fuck. it's happening again. initially Moon Cat's plan was to amass the dregs of her remaining power to create a sentinel that could potentially stop Macavity, but that would officially kill her off, and then Jellicle Moon would cease to exist and the essence of the entire cat race would be fucked, so...that would be counterproductive. Moon Cat's little brother, a benevolent Demon Cat (I need to work on names 😩) whose job it is to guard the Heaviside Layer, volunteers to do the job instead. he's warned that if he gives up his essence/magic to incarnate into a corporeal form, he won't remember his previous life and won't be able to return to the Heaviside Layer. although obviously this is saddening, he accepts the consequences and heroically allows Everlasting to corporealize his essence into a bona fide...Original Conjuring Cat.

enter the boi! Mistoffelees wasn't 'born' per se, he more kind of...landed? spawned? lmfaooo and so he has no memories of parents or littermates and spends the greater chunk of his life just thinking he was abandoned because he was the runt of the litter.

Mistoffelees is imbued with the fruits of Demon Cat's sacrifice, which is where his magic comes from. he's his own person tho, a truly material Jellicle Cat, so as foretold he retains none of Demon Cat's memories or personality or feelings and so on and so forth. he just has a deep seated instinct that he's...Different™ and has a unique (nonetheless tragic) insight/connection to the Heaviside Layer, where he knows he can never go. he also develops a unique father/son-esque bond with Deuteronomy, because Mistoffelees is, after all, the literal answer to Deut's prayers, and because Deut hasn't felt the special warmth and spiritual connection inherent between Magical Cats in centuries. neither Deut nor Mistoffelees realize this for a while tho...it's during the events of the actual musical that Deut realizes what Mistoffelees is.

Moon Cat keeps her eye on him, hoping he can fulfill his destiny of stopping Macavity from fucking up everything for everybody. no pressure!

okay I think that's...kind of enough for now XD or at least it scratches the surface. ty anon for being interested in my crazy diatribes lol I'm glad they entertain you! hopefully this especially wacky take was no exception. 🥴

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

It gets worse, Lily/CD worships the Prequels and KOTOR II/SWOTOR (I enjoy KOTOR II BTW) and the old EU Legends over everything else, and that includes the Original Trillogy.

Yes, Lily/CD hates the Original Trilogy for the most stupid reasons ever: Her abusive, asshole dad loved it; it wasn't violent enough; it wasn't "nuanced" enough (i.e it didn't portray the Sith as poor beans and misunderstood anti-heroes).

Courtney even revealed how she wouldn't stop saying things like "Anakin was right!", "Kreia was right!" and "the Jedi deserved to be annihilated!".

Way back on one of her deleted blogs, Lily would even comment that KOTOR II/SWOTOR and the writers of the legends novels "knew Star Wars better then George Lucas".

Yes, she actually said that.

Let me be clear that liking the prequels and the Star Wars bio games is fine...

But dear God, she's one of those fans?!

[spacelesbiandisasterii]

A small update on my WIP!

Aka "The war within me"

Ok, so for the people that happened to read "The War Within Me" first chapter two months ago (I can't fuckin believe it's been two months) I just wanted to say that I didn't abandoned the project.

Between staying with my grandpa in the hospital (he crashed his motorcycle on a car) and then having Dengue myself (bc I was in the hospital the house I lived was empty and the mosquitos procreate like crazy in the summer I ended up being exposed) I quickly learn that AO3 curse is real and didn't get much time to write.

On top of that Chapter two was already a bit difficult bc it was set to explore Barriss and Anakin relationship and I didn't get to see the two of them interacting on the Star Wars media I consumed. I know they do interact in the novels, but I didn't read any yet (Shame on me!) so it's being kinda tricky, y'know? Mostly of what I wrote I ended up deleting right after because it didn't feel right.

Luckily now I feel like I got the vibe I wanted to pass with them, and I also very proud of the situation that I put them into.

For those that don't remember, Luminara departed to arrest Nute Gunray with the mysterious new Padawan of Anakin Skywalker (I wonder who that could be) while Barriss it's tasked to meet Anakin on the Aargonar System/Planet so they can create a distraction to keep the Seps occupied while Master Unduly gets that sleemo safely to prison.

Great plan, right?

Still, Aargonar will be a little though for Barriss for obvious reasons, and Anakin... Well, he will be doing what he's thing while trying to learn how to be a teacher figure, since it's just been a couple of month since he got his Padawan and now he got to deal with Barriss too (at least for a day).

Anyways! Here's a sneak peek for chapter two, I hope I'll be posting the whole thing soon:

(ps: this is not edited and I'm bad at english)

The news that they would be serving under General Skywalker quickly brought the clones some questions about the man. Barriss was slightly surprised by how popular Anakin truly was among the troops, but the longer the clones talked the more it made sense to why they look up to him so much. "I heard the 501st destroyed a Seppie Super weapon." Klutz, one the skinnies that recently got into the 41st legion spoke up to his brothers. "A ship that destroyed entire fleets! Can you imagine that?" The Malevolence. Barriss heard some talks around the temple at the time. Not only Anakin had destroyed the ship that previously had killed Jedi and clones on multiple battles, but he also managed to save Master Plo Koon and a few clones on the process. People were impressed to say the least, and the 501st legion accumulated dozens of other impressive victories to further legitimize Anakin's leadership. "You know what people call him? The Hero with no fear!" Edger add causing a few gasps of surprise and admiration from his brothers. Barriss had to turn back so they couldn't see her scoff. Now that was just ridiculous. "Padawan Offee, you know him, right?" Klutz asked not bothering on hiding all his excitement. "Yes, I do." "Well, how's he like?" She took a deep breath. How to even begin explaining Anakin? He indeed was a very brave person, true to his values and loyal to his friends in a way that very few could be, but to call him "Hero with no fear", like it seems Republic Propaganda liked to do recently, was to ignore that fact that he was human, and a Jedi. There's no person without fear and, like Master Yoda like to say, there's no heros in war. She wished she could talk about her friend. The Anakin that used to visit her youngling clan with Master Kenobi to help instruct lightsabers lessions and always find excuses to make their classes end early. The one that always found something interesting for her and Aayla to do while their Masters engaged on heated conversation about their last mission. The one that was human before being a military hero. She wished Klutz and Edger knew that version of him, but they also needed to enter this mission trusting their General just as much they trusted Luminara. "He's one of the best Generals of the GAR." She said look at her soldiers. "It's not usual for a recently knighted Jedi get their own Legion to command right away, but Council found him worthy of it. I'm sure whatever we'll be facing on Aargonar Master Skywalker already have a plan so we can succeed in our mission." I hoped. Barriss knew Anakin could be quite unorthodox at times, but she didn't had a chance to serve by his side ever since he got knighted. Judging by the reports of his mission he probably had grown a lot as a Jedi on the time being, and she trusted that things would go smoothly under his command.

[skylarstark4826]

I absolutely loved these beautiful images of Star Wars: The Acolyte of the Mogmae ship of the characters of Mog Adana and Mae-Ho "Mae" Aniseya together and above all because I really absolutely love that in these beautiful images of Mog and Mae they show the first and only time we saw them together but above all because despite the fact that technically we did not see together but until the last chapter of the incredible Star Wars series: The Acolyte despite that the truth is that I felt that between them there could have been some kind of romance and romantic relationship if the series had not unfortunately been canceled but at the same time also because I can't help but think about Obi Wan Kenobi's relationship with Satine Kryze but at the same time I can't help but think about Anakin Skywalker's romantic relationship with Padme Amidala since in both a Jedi fell in love but at the same time because it intrigues me to think that Mog and Mae would have fallen deeply in love with the other and above all because I imagine that yes after they had left Mae's home planet then the 2 would have begun to spend a lot of time together in the Jedi Temple in Coruscant and that over time both Mog and Mae would have come to fall in love with each other and that even after Mae had recovered their memories of how her life had been before meeting her beloved Mog then despite that Mog would not have stopped being by her side without letting Mae's past interfere with his feelings for her even if she is aware that she is breaking the rules of the Jedi by doing so and being with her and above all because I really would have liked that we had seen them become a romantic and canonical couple in the Star Wars series: The Acolyte and that we could finally have seen them become a beautiful romantic and canonical couple… and above all because it made me love and that we can see them again in the next Star Wars movies and series… honestly… I don’t know about you but I really want to see them together again in the next series and movies of Star Wars and that then we can see them again… sincerely

By the way, this beautiful Fanarts of them is not mine and the credits are not for me, but unfortunately I can’t leave you the link of the true creator of this beautiful masterpiece on Twitter because apparently he deleted it and if you ask me I don’t understand why I would do something like that but fortunately I managed to rescue the fanart in time

[grapenehifics]

I’m very curious to know if you have a headcanon about whether Anakin wears a sleep shirt? He’s shirtless in both AOTC and ROTS. Is this because he overheats at night? What does Obi-Wan think about this?

Tits out, guns out.

Longer (real?) answer below the cut...

First of all, thank you for this ask; this kept my brain very pleasantly occupied on my commute to work today.

In An Uncivil War, I put Anakin in clone-issue under-armor to sleep in - which involved a whole separate headcanon, about what they wear, which is more likely probably both black leggings and a black turtleneck but I added a sleeveless black undershirt to that combo so that Anakin could wear a black tank top because this is my fic and I want to see some arms damnit - mostly to get him into something black and obviously non-Jedi issue but also because he and Obi-Wan are sharing a room with Ahsoka for all of that fic so while I think he'd be perfectly happy to go shirtless around Obi-Wan he also recognizes that they're in a war and anything could happen and he would not have the luxury of being able to get up slowly and put a robe on or anything before needing to hurry to the bridge to deal with an explosion or a Separatist attack, so during the war he might forgo the whole sleeping-naked thing at least while on duty.

I think of Obi-Wan - at least pre-war Obi-Wan - as a pajamas person, like the whole nine-yards matching-set sort of deal, and so little Anakin would think that is normal/Jedi appropriate/wants to emulate his Master, so when Obi-Wan gets him child pajamas he wears them. But I also see Anakin as deeply texture sensitive - and prone to nightmares, which make him sweaty, and unused to regulating his body temperature in a way that makes sense for non-desert planets - so he'd actually really struggle with wearing all that baggy fabric and blankets to bed, and the fabric gets bunched up underneath him, and now he's lying on top of wrinkles, and if he gets sweaty then the whole thing is damp and soggy and uncomfortable...so he takes at least the top off, and that feels better, but Obi-Wan never does, so Anakin gets yet another (subtle, unspoken) impression that he's doing 'being a Jedi' wrong.

(And honestly so long as Anakin's not completely naked, I don't think Obi-Wan actually cares if he's only wearing pants, especially in his own room; this is not something Obi-Wan actually chastised Anakin for; it's all in Anakin's head that he's being judged.)

In the AotC deleted scene, we see Anakin sleeping in his clothes:

so either Obi-Wan didn't pack any pajamas for him (potential future headcanon discussion: how old is Anakin before Obi-Wan finally stops packing his suitcase for him) or Anakin took the whole 'travel as refugees' thing to heart and decided that refugees don't get pajamas, and really he's just staying in character. The next time we see him asleep, he's at the Naberrie family vacation villa:

There's our topless boy! Is he wearing pajama pants under there? Difficult to say for sure but I'm leaning toward yes, both because of his generally awkward nature and the fact that he's trained to jump into action at any moment in case of danger.

By the time he's gone outside to meditate he's put a shirt on, unfortunately:

Is this a pajama top, or just his regular tunic? If it is his regular tunic, why is it XXL? That is not where shoulder seams generally go. Does Obi-Wan think he's still growing and is tired of replacing his shirts every six months so he's still doing the, 'it's too big now but you'll grow into it' thing?

In any case, why are Jedi so into beige; I know we (rightly) make fun of teen Ahsoka's tube top but at least the girl has an appreciation for color.

So far, though, I'm going with, Anakin will sleep in pants, at least while at other peoples' houses, but prefers not to wear a shirt. I would imagine this would probably hold while he's with the 501st, too, that he needs to be ready to spring into action at any moment but who cares if his troops see his bare chest (and, again, maybe this is just me, but this is where I see him slowly adapting to wearing more of what the clones wear, just because there's so much of it, and yes they're shorter than he is so the leggings only come up to his calves but this is would not be a dealbreaker for him).

In RotS, I have to assume that we're meant to assume Anakin is buck-ass naked under the covers here and the only reason he's wearing pajama pants here:

is because this is a PG-13 movie. I mean, he's off-duty and in bed with his wife. Yes I know she has her hair done and is wearing a silk nightgown with pearl sleeves (??) but, again, kids movie. Why on earth would Anakin be sleeping in pants otherwise.

Around Obi-Wan, though, before they get together: pants on, shirt off. (He's trying to flirt with the man, after all.) After they get together: clothes just get in the way. Anakin expects this of Obi-Wan, too, and looks so hurt the first time Obi-Wan tries to put his pajamas back on after sex that Obi-Wan course-corrects and gets into bed naked. "If you're cold, I'll warm you up, Master," and Obi-Wan doesn't have the heart to say no (also, Anakin is very warm). They have pajamas, but they're for, like, morning and evening lounge wear (and Anakin's still does not involve a shirt).

Obi-Wan does, however (eventually, slowly) manage to teach Anakin the fun of taking your partner's clothes off slowly, piece-by-piece, as opposed to popping buttons and ripping them off as fast as he can. This is both fun and has the added benefit of extending the life of Obi-Wan's wardrobe and keeping him from needing to break out his sewing kit quite so often (Anakin still leaves them piled on the floor though).

Throwing it back to you, @underacalicosky and anyone else who wants to play :) Agree? Disagree?

[ohgodmyeyes]

Hey i hope it's okay if i ask this question.... i've read eventide and am now almost through with disassembly. Are you enjoying comments on your works or not so much? I'd love to tell you how great I think your stories are and how much they touch me, but after seeing that the comment function is turned off on eventide and you stopped replying to comments on disassembly at some point (even though the comments are legitimately so nice and full of praise) I was kind of unsure if you even want to read comments like that anymore or if you're tired of them.

having exhausted all of the free therapy the province is willing to provide me for now, i have to say i'm kind of delighted you asked this... because otherwise i wouldn't have the gall to talk about it:)

basically, it's nice to have an excuse to say: I LOVE GETTING COMMENTS ON MY STORIES!!! i read every single one i get, sometimes multiple times over, crying and thanking the universe that another human being noticed something i did and liked it.

that being said, i really haven't been in a good enough place to answer them for the past year or so, at least not to my satisfaction. i've started and stopped more replies to more messages/asks/comments i can count, only to delete what I've written and bury my head in a pillow halfway through: because i can't possibly answer them all in a timely fashion and i don't want anyone to think I'm favouring them; because what if the comment is too old, and the person who left it has outgrown my story; because what if my conversational tone is off; because what if the comment is entirely sarcastic, or full of slang, and i don't understand the intent well enough to make a good faith response; because what if answering causes me to in some way die; because what if what if what if...

and i wouldn't hold it against myself, except I've fallen victim to the same dysfunctional pattern in my personal & real life communications, too — i just can't answer anyone (yes i see you and you are beautiful), no matter how much I love them or how much they love me or what they're trying to communicate... which is a big big problem that goes a bit beyond not answering comments on my fanfics, admittedly. but the comments thing is surely a symptom of it, and it's just not something i can seem to force myself to overcome right now, at least not adequately.

because things always come back to star wars for me: I feel a little like I'm turning into sequels Luke. Not on purpose exactly; I've far from committed to that path, and still have quite a rich inner life that I hope to be able to project again sometime soon — hopefully in a way that continues to connect me to other people — because I think that's the most rewarding part of sharing online.

keeping this blog and my ao3 and writing when I can and sharing posts is what's keeping me connected right now, and even though it might seem like I'm ignoring people who try to reach out to me, please please understand that I'm not ignoring them/you at all. every time I post I'm kind of saying "I love you", even if that feels cheap or selfish.

i'm just a kind of "not okay" that I don't know how to express, or fix, with words... but Anakin Skywalker is someone I can still connect with in spite of it, and use to connect with others, even if (for now) that has to happen in ways that are trivial or in ways I can't reciprocate.

anyway... to answer your question again, because I understand I did go off on a bit of a tangent there, yes I definitely appreciate and read and absorb the responses people are kind enough to offer me. because I know I'm very lucky to still be getting any attention at all after all this time, and I'm endlessly grateful for the continued opportunity to connect (yes, very much in spite of a lack of any tangible evidence).

there are names I see here and on ao3 that are so important to me and my everyday that i would spiral if they ever went away entirely, and stories and comments i go back to again and again and again... in silence, like dusty old attic books, but again and again nonetheless.

part of the reason i turned the comments off on eventide was because I knew I was coming to a place where I wouldn't be able to honour them... I couldn't bear to do the same with disassembly at the time, partly because it had a smaller audience, and partly because the feedback on something i was (and am) still invested in so heavily still means so much to me.

now I'm not sure what the most responsible thing to do would be, which is very classically "me", but rest assured that I gravitate to the kindness people exude toward my work and that i bask in it and that no one's words are ever, ever wasted on me.

thank you, i love you. ❤️

[beatrice-otter]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@whetstonefires tagged me! 17 was missing, and I searched for the meme and found one that had a question 17, so it's back!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

256! But that's going back 18 years, so it's an average of a little over 14 fics per year.

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

1,245,329. Which works out to an average of 4900 words per fic, or 69k words/year. Respectable, solid, but I know a lot of people who've written more.

Oh! But there are a couple of podfics in there, which probably skews the words-per-work a bit.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Uh. A quick count gives me 112 fandoms on my AO3 page, so ... a lot. I regularly write for Yuletide, and I'm polyfannish, so. A lot. I used to be big into Stargate SG-1, so I've written a lot of that but not recently. Other top fandoms include Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, various DC fandoms, various Star Trek and Star Wars fandoms, Babylon 5, Terminator (especially the Sarah Connor Chronicles), the Vorkosiverse, the Goblin Emperor, and Rivers of London.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Past Lives (a stalled WIP that is a Star Wars time travel fixit starring Finn)

Lieutenant Bennet's Visit (Temeraire/P&P with Bennet as an aviator)

Darcy's Surprise (sequel to the above fic)

Revenge of the Zillo Beast (Star Wars, Anakin-and-Mace-Windu Groundhog Day AU)

Far Above Rubies (P&P AU, Marry Bennet marries Mr. Collins and is quite happy)

5. do you respond to comments?

Yup! Or, at least, the ones that are more than an emoji or "second kudos!" I value those too, it's just ... what would I say?

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't tend to go in for angsty endings. But, as it happens, I did write an ending lately that was fairly dark.

Fertile Ground, Battlestar Galactica, Simon only bothered to continue the fertility experiments because the others demanded it. Things are different on New Caprica. Warnings for canon-typical ... everything

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

How would one even judge? I have 256 fics, most of which have positive endings of one sort or another.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not really? Or, at least, it's probably happened sometime in the last 18 years, but I just deleted it and forgot about it. I am very lucky, I know other writers who've gone through hell.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope!

10. do you write crossovers?

I love crossovers! AO3 thinks I have 38, but a few of those aren't really crossovers, just different corners of the same universe, and one of them is the work that combines most of my Twisting the Hellmouth crossover drabbles into one drabble collection. (The ones where I had several drabbles in a sequence to tell a longer story, I separated out to each be their own fic.) Anyway, it averages out to about two a year, although I have not written as many in the last few years as I did earlier in my fic writing career. Most recently, I have:

A Spy on the Golden State Train (Miss Fisher/Agent Carter gen)

Undiscovered Stars (Star Trek/Star Wars, Lando Calrissian/James T. Kirk)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oh, sure, there have been a couple of times people have put some of my fics on those skeevy for-profit websites that pop up every now and again.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Twice! Both times into Russian. Though oddly enough, none of my Vorkosiverse fics have been translated into Russian. There is a very large and active Russian fandom for the Vorkosigan saga, so if I were going to predict which of my fics would be translated into Russian, it would be those. But no, the two that were translated are a DS9 fic, and a Doctor Who/Mary Poppins crossover.

Тридцать четвертое правило by Lazurit (The 34th Rule, DS9)

Завтра ветер переменится by Kollega (A Change in the Wind, DW/Mary Poppins)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

That's tough to answer. Does it include the ones that I abandoned, say, 15 years ago and haven't thought of since? I don't tend to post WIPs because I don't like them hanging over me.

Probably Hello, Piccadilly, Hello, Leicester Square, a Wonder Woman post-movie fic about Diana trying to figure out how to live in Man's World. I had a really great hook--they pass Diana off as a war bride--but no real idea where to go from there. Which is why it stalled out after only two chapters.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding, probably.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings and action. I am not good at writing either of them. The thing I am most likely to need a beta's help with is whether or not an ending feels like an ending or if I need to wrap things up better, and if so, what do I need to do to wrap things up. And action bores me, and it's really hard to write something that bores you, so I try to avoid needing to write it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't speak any other languages, so I wouldn't do it! Unless maybe I had someone who had already volunteered to translate for me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate SG-1! It was a spitefic that I wrote because I was so annoyed by all the Broca AUs. "The Broca Divide" was an episode where they all turn into cavepeople, and as part of it Sam Carter kisses her commanding officer, Jack O'Neill, who then takes her to the infirmary before succumbing to the infection himself. There were a ton of fics about that where they have sex instead and she gets pregnant, and afterwards she keeps the baby and they get married and everything is fine and the team stays together and nobody cares about fraternization or anything.

(There were a LOT of Sam/Jack fics out there where like the President or whoever would call them up and say "oh, you're in love? awesome! we'll just waive all the regulations about having a romantic relationship with someone in your chain of command because you're so extra special and awesome. Which really annoyed me.)

Anyway, I got annoyed enough to write a fic where they sleep together as cavepeople and she gets pregnant and things are not fine, actually, there are consequences to it.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

lol

I can never figure out my favorite anything. If you give me five options, I could maybe narrow it down to the top two. Out of 256? You have got to be kidding me.

Tagging @tielan, @alexseanchai, @mihrsuri, @birdylion, @anghraine

[starbeltconstellation]

Sooo, I’m posting this here, because the nice reader that left a comment on one of my meta posts for my Anakin x OC SW Fic seems to have sadly deleted it before I could respond. And I sadly cannot remember the tumblr username to send them a message that way. ☹️💔

It might not be automatic, since my life is kinda overwhelming right now, but I’ll always respond to every ask and message I receive! 💕💕💕 So you all never have to worry that I’m ignoring you or anything like that.

Sooo, if you’re still out there waiting for the next chapter of “Rewrite the Stars” little commenter—I will still leave you my answer to your message here! ❤️😊

You mentioned the current heartbreaking world events of what’s happening in Gaza to the Palestinian people, and how you have in a way come to relate that with my themes in my fic on the Jedi genocide and how a lot of SW citizens in universe/also the SW fandom have a frankly disgusting tendency to blame the Jedi for their own genocide (sadly, The Acolyte has recently had a line that basically outright says this, and it has all but guaranteed that I will now never watch that show that clearly believes everything cynical about life that SW is supposed to go against).

Now, while I have not outright SAID that in my author’s notes on A03 or Wattpad (I was honestly unsure if the comparison might come off as offensive to others. Some people like to see their experiences reflected in art/media, while others might see it as offensive that you’d compare their pain to a fictional universe), I suppose I can admit it here, since you have pointed it out yourself—yes, the thought of what’s happening in Gaza did indeed cross my mind when I think about the Jedi being blamed for their own genocide, and then when I compare that to the disgusting way the Palestinian people have been blamed by a certain section of the world for the genocide currently happening to them (ex: tHeY vOteD fOr HaMaS! 🤪🤪😒💔).

While I didn’t PLAN it to directly reference the Gaza situation—it DID occur to me of the similarities when I was writing my fic. It was honestly just one more thing that makes me so passionate about never quitting this fic and one day finishing it. 💔 I hope that one day, when this fic is finished, it will help change readers’s minds about this frankly cruel mindset in blaming a culture for something, just because you don’t understand them or their pain or why they came to be where they are or make the certain decisions they’ve made.

Thanks so much again for the comment on my tumblr post, dear reader I can’t remember the tumblr username of! 😭❤️ I hope this answer is satisfactory, and that you come back to my tumblr and see it. 💕💕

Still chipping away at the next chapter! 😭✊ It’s coming along… slowly, but surely. 😖 It’s probably gonna be over 45,000 words. 😭🤦‍♀️

I’m fr NEVER writing a chapter this long again. 🫠😖

Hope you all are doing well! ❤️❤️

-

To any new readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:

Tags:

@ensomniaa

@heartfairy

@fangirlteallie

@lemons-2-limes

@shoniwake

[exonerin]

4, 11, and 17 from the writer question list please 🤗

Thank you so much! Here's the list with the questions! I had so much fun with these questions. Don't feel pressured to read all the nonsense here. There's a lot.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

In general, I think 'foodstuffs' is a delightful word. It must be my favorite. But a concerning trend is the word 'haltingly', which has been popping up in my fics, and I can't rest until I've used it once in each fic. I'm also a repeat offender of 'however'. I always overuse that word in my fics.

In speech, it would be 'right' according to one of my friends, who I've driven slightly insane (my bad).

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Never kill the darlings.

Simple rule. Yet, people keep killing their darlings. Mark my word, you will regret killing your darlings. It's better to pull a Maul on them. Make them suffer, it's so much more interesting than killing them.

Also, I would feel too guilty about killing them. I don't know. I've never killed a darling, even when I wrote original stuff.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

When I saw that number, I grinned because you are going to regret this question. Let me place a Keep Reading for a good reason.

When I finished my last fic, I got into one of those little spirals again. Where nothing I start writing or return to captures my interest or is good enough. And so I returned to three very old fics.

And the one I'm mainly working on now is called sandcat. That has been its WIP title for... 1? 2? years now. It's Picking Up Stray's ancestor.

It's the cat!Anakin fic that started it all. But unlike Picking Up Strays, the timeline is convoluted, the plot is currently still in shambles, and it will be long(er). Picking Up Strays was easy to write in the sense that the shorter the fic the less luggage you're lugging around. There're fewer plot points to tie up and you actually remember most of the stuff you wrote. Hence, less inconsistencies.

sandcat (and I'm tentatively calling it DAUNTLESS for reasons I will not spoil but am super excited about) is one of those fics I've really wanted to write for a long time but didn't know whether I could pull it off.

Now, the WIP title is sandcat (only because I couldn't find it parked between fics sw_1, sw1, SW1, and star_wars1) because Anakin is a sand cat. I love sand cats. They're adorable, and you can't tell the kittens apart from the adults, so I get to shamelessly write kitten! Anakin. But yes, I watched a short BBC(?) documentary on sand cats a few years back. When I saw the sand cat, my first thought was Anakin. But more like 9-year-old Anakin at the time. I mean, come on, the blonde fur and the big blue eyes. It's basically Anakin. But looking at a cat and going; 'someone must name these cuties Felis margarita Anakinus' is not, in fact, a fic. And I've gone through many iterations of this fic trying to make a story out of sand cat Anakin. My main problem is the timeline. I had to place this fic on the timeline, and I had 23 years to pick from, each with their advantages and disadvantages.

On the note of material that gets scrapped: sand cat Anakin curling up with baby Luke. It's such a shame to see that bit go, but alas, I've already deleted it because I have different plans.

But we're getting there. By which I mean to say, I only have 9k so far, but give me a few weeks, and we'll have something. When you get past the first 10k, you know you have a fic. Typically, it's most difficult to have a vision beyond that initial burst of inspiration that's typically just a hook.

Now, this fic will mostly be on Tatooine. Listen, I can't spoil the fic here because this thing is convoluted for a reason!! I love introducing little secrets at the start of the fic that I only reveal later on. Not plot twists but you-could-have-guessed-it-twists. And little jokes (but no one ever spots them because they're so small and refer to a single sentence uttered by a background character like 20k back), which I tend to forget about myself, too.

Anyway, it's Tatooine. Also, I've been greatly enjoying rewatching a certain series lately, which has Tatooine as backdrop for part of its six episodes. So, that's the timing.

I've also been taking color-coded notes on the fight between Ben and Vaderkin in the last episode. A lot of my fics use/recycle dialogue from the shows and movies.

I'm not sure how many people notice how much dialogue I recycle. And I've been spending way too much time rewatching the confrontation on Mustafar and jotting down notes.

But sandcat is going to be my greatest offender yet. I'm also doing some fun stuff with placement of things across the page.

Don't worry, it'll still be readable. In fact, I'm using placement on the page to make this fic more readable. It's something I want to work on. My sentences then to sway a bit, which makes the whole thing a bit jerky (I hope that makes sense), and I want it to be smoother and more focused.

But anyway. The next fic you'll see from me is sandcat. Because writing 18k of cat!Anakin didn't scratch my itch.

If you're wondering about the other two:

sort of fake dating in the GFFA with the Jedi encouraging 'healthy attachments' to get better press. Anakin and Obi-Wan get in a really confusing fake/real relationship because they're both idiots. And the Temple explosion wipes out Anakin's room, so they're sharing a bed, which adds to the fake/real part. Listen they're both pining idiots.

A modern AU (I know, shocking) in which Star Wars is a video game, Obi-Wan is a veteran on the scene and Anakin the crazy talented newbie. Obi-Wan's looking for reasons to quit, Anakin makes that impossible. Together, they wreak havoc on the servers. Because Team Jedi and Team Sith are not supposed to team up.

I think I have shared a good amount of details. Next week, I'll probably do a WIP Wednesday. Unless I forget. I often forget.

[shadowandblueberry]

Since I have 2 friends on Tumblr rn, I feel like I should introduce myself!!

(This is me coming to greet you guys)

(Joking she's my mommy)

(Yes, sarcasm is my only defense)

I downloaded Tumblr in 2020 or so, but I didn't understand a shit so I deleted it. A few days ago, I downloaded it again, and I'm loving it so far!!!

I'm Lizzie! I'm 21 (can't believe it!), she/her, bisexual, and shifter since 2023... I guess?

My Main Drs:

Mcu (duh!) ❤️ my first dr & script

Hogwarts golden era 🐍

Nyc better cr 🌃

(These are the ones I care for the most and have the scripts for. The others are places i wanna go, but that are in the second place for now.)

Kate Bishop (gf) 🏹

Twd (need that ricky Dicky) 🧟

Iron Man (my current obsession) ❤️‍🔥

Star wars (ANAKIN!!!)

AOT (gonna shit myself when I shift)

Daredevil, AOS, TASM, Shatter Me (books) (Aaron Warner my love), fame dr, fame teen dr, h2o, barbie, monster high, winx, fame model, job dr...

I love...

reading, writing (fiction, poem, academic), fanfiction, fantasy and romance genres, dilfs, acting...

My username comes from 'shadow and bone' book series and blueberry, one of my fav fruits. Strange combination i know.

If you want shifting friends or love reading, hit me up!! I'd like to meet like-minded people 🩷

(Also, I don't really know how Tumblr works, so if I don't reply or sth just tag me or do something like that, ig)